Wacko Jacko or Mistreated Michael?

Michael Jackson. Just saying his name evokes emotions in people--worship, envy, sadness, disgust, revulsion, love, hate, pity, and many more. To me, I don't understand this man-boy who seemed to never grow up. I forget who in the memorial service called him Peter Pan, but that is how I have always seen him.

Was he guilty of molesting young boys? Was he inappropriate? By our standards, he was inappropriate, but what were his standards? Was he being honest when he said he was just showing them pure love, not sexual love? None of us will ever know because we were not present. In my mind, he may have been trying to give what he did not receive as a child.

What I do believe is that somewhere in his past, abuse took place. There were many stories of his father's abuse when the kids were growing up and, again, we will never know the truth. But something happened to that cute little guy who sang on the Ed Sullivan Show so many years ago. And, as parents, we need to see Michael as an example of what can happen when we do not take care of the little ones in our charge. The reasons I believe that there was abuse are:

• the self mutilation he inflicted on himself with the mulitple plastic surgeries, always trying to make himself another person,
• the fact that he appeared to be arrested in his emotional development and was childlike for his entire life,
• he always wanted to be surrounded by children that he could love,
• every photo I have ever seen of Michael and his parents shows him leaning away from his father (of course I have not seen all the photos and that could be wrong),
• and the Jackson children are all so careful and so quick to circle the wagons around one that is in trouble, especially Michael. That does not mean that abuse occurred but it is a symptom.

I do respect the fact that he lived his life the way he wanted and did not let the criticism affect how he did things. I am sure he took it to heart and was pained by it, but he remained true to himself. Too many times we see former child stars who have serious issues with drugs or emotions or relationships. Why is that? I think it because they have been put too soon into an adult world for which they are not prepared.

Parents, pay attention to how you interact with your kids. This is especially true if they are a prodigy or have a special gift. Don't push them into adulthood too soon. Let them be kids. Love them and hold them. Let them play and be silly. If they have a gift, they will do it naturally and they will love it. Let them lead you on how involved they want to be. Of course, encourage them and provide opportunity for them to pursue the talent. But don't rob them of their precious innocent childhood.

Let Me Introduce You to...

Nathanael Knox Hawkins, born 3 weeks early and these photos are the day after he was born. Pretty alert, don'cha think? He was 6 lbs. 14 oz and 20 in. long, but that decreased to 19 1/4 in. once his head came back to normal after being pushed in the birth canal. His dad kept making jokes about how much of his brain he uses and that he was an alien baby--obviously watches too much of the Sci Fi channel and not enough of the shows about childbirth. However, you can see that his Mema is pretty happy to see him and show him off for the camera.

Obviously he will be like his daddy who thinks he is late if he is 15 minutes early. On time is very late and actually late is totally unacceptable. My son, Nathanael's dad, called me late one evening and said that he and his wife thought something was happening. After a couple of questions it was clear that her water had broken and off to Northside Hospital we all flew.

He was born the next day and has been a terrific little baby...that is until yesterday! That was the day he peed on me. Totally unacceptable. He was doing some tummy time on my tummy and suddenly this warm wet feeling started growing on my abdomen. Sure enough, he had gotten me.

But at my age, I am just glad it wasn't me that peed on me.

More grandson updates in later posts...

Letterman Has To Go!

Like many others, I have been watching the drama unfold around David Letterman's comments about Sarah Palin's daughter. It has taken me a few days to get my head around everything that was said and I have come to the conclusion that Letterman has to go.

Please know that I have watched him since he had a daytime show and lit his set on fire on once. That was truly hysterical, but he has gotten increasingly mean-spirited over the years. When candidate Obama asked that children be left alone in the presidential race, I think he meant more than just until the voting takes place. Children of a candidate are off limits--telling rude jokes or making incendiary remarks about them is unacceptable--regardless of which side of the aisle their parents represent.

What was David Letterman's response to Ms. Palin's outrage? He said he was talking about her 18 year old daughter when he said that A-Rod knocked her up during the 7th inning stretch rather than her 14 year old daughter. In what way does that make it better? Yes, the older one is of age, but he was still saying, in so many words, that she was a slut.

There are many young girls who have made a mistake and found themselves pregnant. That does not mean they slept around promiscuously. It means they had a boyfriend and made a decision error.

Every woman in the country should be outraged by his comments and his subsequent semi explanation/not quite apology statement he made. At the very least, his network should show some integrity by forcing him to offer an apology to the Palin family. But I really think he should be fired.

What do you think?

The Future is Here

Last week, I was privileged to attend my niece's graduation from high school. My dad, my stepmom, and I made the trek (or, to be truthful, the flight) from Georgia to Ohio for the big event. We are all very proud of her achievements while in school.

However, I had been feeling a bit pessimistic lately about our country's steady path to Socialism under the current administration. The success of the US has always been the inventiveness and hard work of our people. Socialism punishes achievement and rewards mediocrity, and therefore do not create the great advances in civilization that our country has been famous for.

However, as I listened to the Senior chorus of West Branch High School in Beloit, OH sing the National Anthem my spirit was lifted. Then I listened to the 20 dozen commencement speeches. Ok, there were only 10 or 11. As I heard what those young adults had to say about how they see the future, my hopes again rose in my heart. These were kids who believe in our wonderful country and all it has to offer. Their parents taught them to be proud to be an American, not ashamed of it. These young people believe in the future and that they can create a better world than the one they were born into. I believe they can, too.

As we look across this country, many are graduating from high schools and colleges who have the faith of this group. We must trust in them because they will be responsible for the future. As parents and citizens, we must do all we can to hand over to them a country that is free, diverse, and productive. It is the best legacy we can give them.

So, for now, thank you, graduates of West Branch. Congratulations and God Bless You. You are our hope of a better future. I think we are in good hands. Go Warriors!

Everybody dance now...!

If you have ever had a family vacation at Hilton Head Island, SC, I hope you spent an evening under the stars listening to and singing along with Dave Kemmerly and his guitar on the deck at The Salty Dog in Sea Pines.

Monty and I love to sit back, have a beverage of choice and listen to Dave play fun songs and interact with the audience. Kids of all ages get up and "dance to the music." This year we were blessed to share this with grandsons who really enjoyed the dancing and singing and eating ice cream on the deck.

Parents can relax and watch kids run around and meet new friends to dance with. Everyone shares the job of watching out for the kids and they never get out of sight. The kids enjoy dancing with mom and dad, swirling in circles, twirling around a pole, and doing all sorts of creative dance moves that I don't think Broadway has seen before.

Sometimes we are treated to a song by some of the youngsters. It is something you will never forget as Dave shares his mike with kids who have such great songs as Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and a variety of Hanna Montana vocalizations. They have such a great time, sometimes he has a little trouble getting the microphone back from their ice-cream-sticky fingers.

This is a time and place I can feel completely at peace and just feel the stressors of life lift off as I join the rest of the crowd in sing-alongs and laugh while watching the antics of the kids.

Has anyone out there been to hear Dave? Do you have a Salty Dog T-shirt? If not, and you ever get a chance, don't let it pass you by. It will be an evening you will want to repeat over and over. I know we do.

You can find out more about Dave at www.facebook.com/davekemmerly. Tell him you heard about him from me. I don't get anything out of it, just thought I would share one of the great memory making places in the USA.

I know you all think I never work, but I do. However, I want to have balance and so I play every chance I get and want to encourage you to do the same. In the words of a great country song, "I Hope You Dance."

Hilton Head Island Dolphin Adventure

Last week we were at our timeshare in Hilton Head Island, SC and went on a dolphin adventure. We had two of our kids, their spouses, and 3 grandchildren (plus a friend) with us to see the dolphins.

At first we were disappointed because we would just get quick glimpses but it was so fast the kids kept missing it. We reconciled ourselves to enjoying the great views and spending real quality time together. Then it happened! Out of the blue with no warning....strand feeding!

HHI is one of the rare places on earth that dolphins go "strand feeding." They rise up in the water, push the fish in front of them onto a bank, then land on the bank themselves. This is done just before high tide so if they get stranded on the beach, the tide will come and wash them back into the water. How do they know? No one knows, but they are very intelligent. It has been documented by National Geographic and others.

Anyway, we got to see that. It was amazing. The boat captain said it was something he saw once every couple of years. The adults were screaming, the kids were screaming, cameras were everywhere--it was magnificent. Sorry I don't have any photos of it. I did get it on video but don't know if I can upload that.

What a great family experience we had--a once in a lifetime adventure. Like I said before, get off the couch and go see something miraculous with your family.

Where is John Wayne When You Need Him?

With Memorial Day facing us in a few weeks, my thoughts have been on the derogatory things we hear in the news about our country. My father fought in WWII so we would have peace and freedom. I was born soon after the war was over and the country was still celebrating our victory, as well as getting back to normalcy.

When I was in school, we learned patriotic songs and I watched John Wayne in movies portraying what is good and clean and wonderful about the USA. Where is the modern day John Wayne? Is anyone else tired of having Hollywood and politicians apologize for our country?

This country we call home is the most loving and generous of any in the world. If you don't believe it, just look to see who is first to help other countries in times of disaster. It is us, even if they are our enemies. The citizens of this country will rally around another part of the country or town or neighborhood when they need help. No one asks why or hesitates. We just do what we feel we need to do.

Our military is the same way. I am very insulted for them by the recent comments calling the returning soldiers more dangerous to our country than the terrorists. Yes, there will be a rare soldier or sailor who is adversely affected by war--that has always been the case. But the majority of our military men and women are doing a job they feel they must do. They, like my father, are trying to keep us safe and I am extremely grateful to them.

Most of them will come back to the private sector with new skills and a renewed sense of responsibility and purpose. They are valued employees and loving family members. An appreciation of this country and what we stand for is found in the deserts, mountains, and forests of battle. Love of family and God is renewed in foxholes. Gratitude for the privileges we enjoy in the US is discovered by seeing other cultures in which freedom and independence of thought and spirit are not allowed. We not only allow all these things, but we encourage and celebrate them. These are the qualities our military bring home with them.

I remember being appalled that my kids did not learn patriotic songs in school like I did. So we sang them in the car going to grandma's or to practice. It is past time for parents to fill that need. Our children hear on the news what is wrong with our country. They hear actors and singers and even teachers denigrating our country. It is our responsibility to set the record straight for our kids. Tell them what is right here. Tell them that freedom is not enjoyed by all people and that we are privieged that our ancestors fought bitterly for it. Explain that freedom does not come without a price and that occasionally it must be re-won.

We must explain to our kids that we are not perfect but we are always about what is good. Since the government is run by people, mistakes will be made. Yes, there are politicians who are in it for the power and money, but our constitution's system of checks and balances prevents them from doing too much harm. And we need to teach them that there is no better form of government anywhere in the world.

Show the children in our care how anyone can achieve greatness or riches or happiness--or all three in our country. It takes drive and hard work, but they can do whatever they dream. That is true in very few other countries. There are so many examples in our history we can use to drive home those lessons.

Let's instill pride of country into our kids rather than shame. Admonish them to vote and participate in the processes that make our country unique. Encourage them to dream about and reach for the stars. Let's teach them to be part of the solution--part of making our country even better tomorrow than is was yesterday.